I'm OK
by Bedazzle Me
Summary: Mac's childhood is very similar to this song, so i thought i'd write a sing fic bout it. PG because aBetter safe then sorry and bTraces of violence


Disclaimer: I own NUFFN [Well you do own some things ya know] Ye but what I do own isn't related to the story. [Point] ( [Don't look so smug] Sorry [No your not] I know  
  
Summery: Song Fic about Mac's life and her father's abuse.  
  
A/N: Kinda pointless [Kinda don't care] Don't know why I'm writing this it's not like I'm gonna get any reviews but hey I'm bored [And I wouldn't stop nagging] Oh and it's in Mac's POV  
  
On with da story  
  
I'm OK  
  
'Once upon a time there was a girl In her early years she had to learn How to grow up living in a war that she called home Never knew just where to turn for shelter from the storm'  
  
As I lie here I can't help but think of my past. Of my mum and my dad. My past and how it has affected my future.  
  
'It hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face Every time my father's fists would put her in her place Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room Hoping it would be over soon'  
  
Each and every time he came home in a drunken haze I would run. Run so I wouldn't have to see what I knew he was about to do. So I wouldn't have to see the pain he inflicted at the time it was inflicted and the pain on her face. I remember I would fall asleep crying, they being woken up by my mum's soft sobs as she sat in the rocking chair in my room waiting for the day that everything would be alright again. For it to be how it was when she first set eyes on him and him on her.  
  
'Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same And I still remember how you kept me so afraid Strength is my mother for all the love she gave And every morning that I wake I look back on yesterday And I'm OK'  
  
Even now when I wake up each day and as I shower and dress, I can still hear the sound of a hand connecting with a cheek in a very powerful slap. And the soft cries of, 'no more, please, I can't take anymore.'  
  
'Often wonder why I carry all this guilt When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door The echoes of a broken child screaming please no more Daddy don't you understand the damage you have done For you it's just a memory but for me it still lives on'  
  
I never realised how guilty I felt. That he got drunk because of me. Of the pressure of being a parent. But mum never got drunk. Mum only drank every other day, while I was at school. I don't think she knew that I knew.  
  
'Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid Strength is my mother for all the love she gave Every morning that I wake I look back on yesterday'  
  
The morning after, when he left for work, I would creep into their bedroom. I'd wake up mum and together we'd try and make her look presentable. A bit of foundation here and there and she could go out in public without being stared at like some animals in the zoo.  
  
'It's not so easy to forget, all the marks you left along her neck When I was thrown against cold stairs And everyday afraid to come home in fear of what I might see, next'  
  
Some nights, if I felt brave or just had enough, I wouldn't run. I'd stand there and try with all my might to get him to back off. To leave her alone. To be like my friends' dad's. Nice and loving. But then, and only then, he'd strike me.  
  
'Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same And I still remember how you kept me so afraid Strength is my mother for all the love you gave And every morning that I wake, I look back on yesterday And I'm OK'  
  
I don't hate her for leaving. I left too when I was old enough. I just hate her because she didn't take me. Because she left on MY birthday. She didn't even say goodbye.  
  
But that was the past. That was then. This is now, and now is what's most important. I've grown up and I've become what my parents could only dream of being. So Diane and Joe, mum and dad, mother and father. Goodbye I say to you. Goodbye for now, and for always.  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: what do you think?? Be sure to tell me. Review or don't. But I'd rather you'd do coz if you do, I can improve. 


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